Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Losing and growing in Love

It has been revealed to me that my love for Jesus has changed – unfortunately not for the better. During Youthworks Bible College doing Year 13 and I think a bit in year 12 I loved Jesus, but over the last 2 years of sickness my love for Jesus has diminished. I’ve wanted to love Jesus, but I haven’t been listening to him. I don’t know his voice very well now – as I am confused and distracted by Satan’s. I have now come to realise the need to read the bible each day and to really think about it and try to put it into practice – otherwise Jesus doesn’t get to speak to me and change my ways. I’ve wanted an intimate relationship but have been spending time with Jesus mostly out of habit. So I have decided to make a few changes – that I will be focusing on Jesus in my quiet times, doing study books ‘Proclaiming the Risen Lord’ and ’40 Days with the Risen Lord’. The first study was on repentance which really opened my eyes, as I was convicted about how I am like the foolish builder who does not have a strong foundation as I have not put God’s word into practice. Also that I have not been producing good fruit, for my heart is not pure. One thing that I have been convicted of is that I need to be more humble – and so God has revealed the need for me to kneel as I pray (something that I have never done, and always thought was weird, but I see the need for it now).

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